Own your decision

 12-05-21

Life has been very generous , I am grateful about that.

A loving Family is all I could ask 

But life is full of mistakes, I regret

Only if I can make it right , and not look back. 

Marrying some stranger, who doesn’t think about anyone except himself

Leaving my career, just to get married

It feels so heavenly to start with, that feeling vanishes when reality strikes. 

You make compromises to keep moving ahead in life 

Ignore your intense feelings, that may possibly arise 

When you love someone, being selfish is not in the books

Instead you dedicate yourself to their nooks. 

Becoming a mother once was one of these dedication

To kill the boredom & loneliness

However becoming a mother twice would be a compromise yet again

You do mistake once, twice & but third time it becomes a habit

I don’t want to keep letting go & compromise my life 

For other’s happiness , for their selfish desires. 

I am going to make a choice for myself today

I am going to not compromise today!

For me to be strong & selfish 

Because I exist. Like literally.

No one to appreciate. No one to care.

I have to look out for myself all bare.

I can’t bring up a child in a world of misery, pandemic & hatred. 

I can’t bring up a child with male dominance. 

I have to stand up for myself & never look back. 

 

आई.

आई. 

I made this poem few years back , writing this today on this special occasion of my mother's 60th birthday.
आई ही कविता तुझ्यासाठी खास ,

तुझ्या सावली च्या पंखाखाली,

भरारी घेण्याची ताकद आम्हाला मिळाली ,

तुझ्या मातृत्त्वाच्या ऊषाखाली ,

गोड़  स्वप्नांची झेप आम्हाला मिळाली . 

तुझ्याशिवाय आमच जगणं काय ,

आमच अस्तित्व  नाही ,

आई तूच आमची प्रेरणा ,

तुझ्याविना काहीच नाही . 

जेव्हा लागत होते ऊन ,

तू दिलस आम्हाला सावली ,

कसे फेडू तुझे ऋण ,

तूच माझी माउली . 

अशीच राहा आमच्या पाठीशी ,

जर धडपड लो  तर उचलायला 

खंबीर राहा आयुष्यभर 

चुकलो तर शिकवायला 

आजवर काही ना मागता 

खूप काही दिलंस आम्हाला 

आम्ही मात्र कधीच 

समजू शकलो नाही तुला 

आज मिळाली सुवर्ण संधी 

मानते तुझे अंनत आभार 

आई विसरू शकत नाही कधी 

थोर तुझे ते उपकार !

Louveeee...the unknown

LooouvvveeeeJ

Do I know what it is?

I wont deny that I am unaware,

Just with experience called it is,

I have become cautiously aware.

Love is blind and it makes you trust any,

You tend to see only one even when having many.

I could feel him when he was away,

Knew he wasn’t there but had something called as a ‘Hope aaray’

I dint know the feeling of hate

And I wish for him I never had to wait.

I loved to love and make him feel special,

Yes he was and will be always,

Even if he isn’t here with me to make me feel the same,

I will always be there to take the blame.

May be I don’t know how to express love to someone,

But yes, right now I fear trusting anyone!!

Thank you!

I am a little confused and anxious
Never realized till 'It' became so vicious

As I was trying to untie the knots of the weaver
I suffered from 'It' which was a undue 'mental fever'

It was well woven and knit
Complicated..
And hence called LIFE, Isn't it?

HE being the creator of all this
This being a 'bliss' , oh I wish!

Simple life..
that is something everyone wants
But it complicates further..
As is the past haunts

I was always put through turns and twists
I often could not see anything but a lot of mist

I still walked in that mist blindly
Holding on to HIS hand undoubtedly

I never questioned HIM, ' Lord, why me?'
Instead I told HIM, ' Dear Lord, You can try me!'

I can cope with anything that may follow

HIS love and merci is deep and never hollow 

Hence this fever is a piece of cake to me 

When I have HIM next to me! 

 

Time flies!

Time flies and Its so true!
It feels like days past are just two..
I am all by myself in this place
with just one known and one unknown face
Its past six months here in USA
on the  learnt lessons I can surely write an essay
It taught me to become strong
It made me correct my wrong
'Independence' they call it..is a blessing in disguise
Mom-Dad and all said 'dear use it but be wise'
Falls and failures I had many in just few months
I knew I have no one to help me with only me along with my hunts
Hunt for happiness and mental peace
I knew I can't get anything with such an ease
For something which I could do always
but realized I never used those damn expected ways
I wished I had my parents help me fix the mains
Oh..God! Yes I forgot that they send me here to explore my 'DOMAINS'

A New Beginning once again..

Its a new beginning once again,
Though,I never knew until the past remained,
Beginnings are new , aren't they?
I wish to have a happy end, come what may!
I kept depending on things that weren't there,
and kept thinking about him who was never with me but else somewhere.
Everything has a beginning and an end,
Life can never be the same at every bend.
I learnt the strokes to swim
and follow with the bright material glow,
but HE wanted me to let go myself with HIS merciful flow,
It was later that I realized,
that all bright glows are neither bright
and its not that they are always right,
It takes a second of realization to end an era of happenings,
Yes, I wait for them-- Indeed they are the 'New beginnings'

A snowy day

It is a snowy day indeed
and so lucky do I feel
It feels like heaven on earth
Snow, Oh I wish I could measure its girth
Its a white world around me today,
with white people and a cup of coffee on a Wednesday,
I wish I can jump, slide,fall and trip in the snow,
I want to make a snow angel with a bow!
I think I am in an ice age,
Oh I am surely loving my life on this page.